Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Journaling November 1st-7th, 07

November 1st, 07
Well I did good last night. I didn't touch any candy! YAY ME! Today we are making carmel apples one of my weaknesses so Lord help me to STAY AWAY! I'm doing good with portions still, its hard some times like yesterday I wanted to just sit and eat some chips with dip but I didn't with Gods help. I did not weigh myself today because I jsut refuse to do it every day now I don't want to be discouraged each day and I'm not going to let satan have that kind of control over me. I did exercise again today! This is becoming havitual which is awesome. I need it! I'm praying that we are going to get pregnant soon and I'm trying not to let it get me down if we are not. The hardest part of it is having to tell the hubby nope not this month either. His disappointment crushes me(even though he tries to act like its all good I can see through it), but I do know God is in control and will bless us with a child, probably many of them. I'm believing! Well thats all I have for today. God is good!

November 2nd, 07
So today I got to spend the whole day with my hubby YAY! Finally! Today was a good day. It was hard not to over eat but I did alright. I ate a little too much at one meal but I'm not going to beat myself up over it,it was just a little more chicken than I should have had, all I can do is not do it again. I don't have much to say. I'm still exercising and doing what I need to do. God is helping me as usual. Thank YOU LORD!

November 3rd, 07
Well I have been in this baby vibe for the past few days. Dreaming about having babies. Thinking of baby names. Looking at baby items whenever we go to the store and of course watching baby shows on TV. Not sure why...well I do know why because I want to be pregnant. But I need to focus on fixing me and what God wants for me. I feel great lately, super great! And I know God is going to bless us with healthy pregnancies and healthy children. His hand is always upon us. God continue to work in me! I'm trusting you and thanking you for everything!

November 4th, 07
Today has been a good day. Thank you Lord again for helping me control my portions and not going back for seconds, this continues to be tough but your stronger than all things and I know your helping me through. I praise you and thank you for everything. Help me to stay strong! I'm doing good with not missing workouts. I believe today is the ninth straight day in a row that I have worked out so yay me! God is Good as I always say! He is giving me the strenth to do what I need to do! God continue to work in me, make me the woman, daughter, sister, firend, wife, and mother that you would have me to be in Jesus name!

November 5th, 07
Well I got up early this morning with Chris. Did my work out. Had some worship time(which was GREAT). Then went to work. Today has been good! Although I'm thinking I'm starting my period which is disappointing but I still know withing my heart and soul that God is going to bless us with babies! I don't know how to explain it I just feel it. I'm still doing good with my food intake. Well thats all for now. Thank you Lord for this day!

November 6th, 07
Yeah totally looks like we are not pregnant this month but I'm still trusting God like I continue saying I know its going to happen. I have lots to do today. I did work out though...I thought I wouldn't have time but I told myself you have to make time if you miss today, then it will just start a trend and all I would have is excuses and I don't want to stay this way becoming a different person is very important to me which means exercising must be a priority! I found out yesterday that Krysta had fallen over the weekend which is just crazy because I had a dream about her this weekend and all it had her saying was pray for me. What an amazing gift I have been blessed with...I mean I have had people come to me in dreams before and I have prayed for them but the past few months I have had 3 confirmations that God is speaking to me directly to pray for people through my dreams. First was my friend Caleb, when I spoke to him at a friends wedding and I told him that I had had some dreams to pray for him he confirmed he was going through an awful time in his life, then next was Alexis and Eli when I had the dream that Eli passed away during bith because of the placenta detaching early, then next was Krysta this weekend. Lord Thank you so much for this gift. I will be obendient and pray! Lord thank you for this day. I give it to you. Also please continue to be with Street and help her through this time to stay strong(and anyone else who happens to read this). Continue to work in me and through me, making me who you want me to be. In Jesus name! AMEN! note don't forget tomorrow is weigh day!

November 7th, 07
So today was weigh day and I was not happy at all with the results! I didn't lose anything...didn't gain which is good but didn't lose. Talk about feeling like CRAP. But then when I saw street today she said that she could tell I was losing weight which was just the boost I needed plus today was the first real day of my period so mom says that is probably why(I think she is just trying to make me feel better, shes awesome). Today was a crazy day I was up at the butt crack of dawn went to work, ran around like a chicken with my head cut off and then got lost on the way to my work retreat...yeah that was funny. But anyways the retreat went AWESOME! We had nothing but positive feedback it was GREAT...so much better than last years...I couldn't of hoped it to be any better than what it was. And boy was I proud of myself. I didn't touch any of the junk food including the pizza which smelled amazing but I didn't touch it I had a little dip a coworker had made and had a slim fast! Yeah I rock...lol..yes I'm allowed to say that because you have no idea how difficult that was for me. I also worked 16 hours yesdterday so I didn't get to exercise...I know its not an excuse but ladies you already know how you feel when your on your period...then add only a couple hours of sleep and 16 hours of work and then you try to come home and work out...I really wanted to but I felt so weak...and if I had worked less hours I would have totally worked out...I know this sounds like excuses and yeah they are but I have to say they are good ones...I will just have to put forth super effort in my workout tomorrow.

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